KNOW THAT YOU MATTER.
Hi GROW fans, this is my 10th blog entry and I wanted to dedicate this to all the people I have loved and the ones I’ve lost during this F*cked Up period: What happened to the world I used to know? Why is loving you so hard when you are not here, when you were the reason I believed in myself? I’ve never been to heaven but I got really close last night…remembering your footsteps in the sand, your grown-up smile, your wisdom and your arms around me every time I wanted to let go. All I ever wanted was to look at you and feel that everything was going to be ok but now it’s you that I’m missing.
What happened to the world I used to know? Why is loving you so hard when you are not here, when you are the reason that I’m out and very proud?
If I could change the hands of time, I would have a do-over with you and tell you all the stories we both loved. I’ve never been to heaven but I got really close last night…remembering your silly jokes, whisky nights, tears and your arms around me every time I wanted to let go. Broken hearts, broken faith and we were both bad at goodbyes but now I’m here crying like a fool when I just wanted to be the one by your side before you let go. What happened to the world I used to know? Why is loving you so hard when you are not here? I thought about you a 100 times as you are the only memory I have to hold on to. I’ve never been to heaven but I got really close last night…you stepped into my world, a bittersweet story about a boy, here in front of me a life I never knew. Why am I so mean when you love me as I am?
My mind is complicated and I should not be afraid to start over again. I won’t start from scratch, I’ll start from experience, remembering when I move, you move too. What happened to the world I used to know? Why is loving you so hard when you are not here? When you gave me lemons, we both made lemonade. You won’t be easy to replace and even when I keep the door unlocked, hoping that you will walk back into my life, it’s not easy to accept that it’s time to let you go. I’ve never been to heaven but I got really close last night…you were always my hero, even if in disguise, in the dark. Know that you matter and that you did a great job even if I don’t know what has happened to the world as we once knew it.
Homemade Happiness xo
